Tux Life

month

July 2011

June 2011

Netflix Suggestions?

I’m finishing a Mile Birbiglia stand-up. What next? Zombieland or ’70s Swedish porn?

Conversation with Mother-in-Law

MIL: Well, are you sad about what happened to your lookalike? Me: Which lookalike would that be? MIL: The one, well, let’s see, what’s his name? The man with the beard in The Hangover? Me: Ah yes, Zach Galifianakis… that lookalike. MIL: Yes, him. Me: What happened? MIL: He died. Me: (sincerely shocked) What do you mean he died? MIL: Well, he was driving his...

Jon Benjamin Takes on Gay Marriage

Putting the Pizza Debate to Rest

This is the end-all, be-all, definitive list, because I said so. Also, 100-percent accurate. New York-Style Pizza - Yes, it’s the best, but don’t tell me again about the fucking water, I already know about the fucking water. Neapolitan Pizza - Excellent but what’s with all the anchovies? Roman Pizza - Breadsticks with a bunch of shit on ‘em. Chicago-Style Pizza -...

ronbailey replied to your post: I don’t mean to be a downer, but… I’ve gotten to a place where I’ve gone from not supporting Obama’s re-election to where I now plan on actively working against it. His refusal to stand up for Anthony Weiner proved to me that he’s not actually interested in real change. Seriously? You’re mad at the most powerful elected official in the world for...

I don't mean to be a downer, but...

Karl Rove may be right that Obama won’t win next year. It depends heavily on who the GOP picks and what that pick chooses to do to appease the base. But if it’s a Romney or a Huntsman or even a Perry, look out. As with always, it’s not rocket science — it’s the economy, stupid. Wars don’t matter because they happen really far away and anymore casualties, while always...

ManDay in Full Effect, Y'all

My wife and kids are at grandmama’s house for the next 30-odd hours, so I’m taking advantage of a little “man time,” yo. I started the day celebratin’ the passage of gay marriage in New York, like a gangsta. Then I posted about depression on Facebook, dawg. That shit was real. I did a motherfuckin’ New York Times crossword puzzle and only had to cheat twice....

All of that stuff about parenting that was going around yesterday made me wonder somewhat discouragingly if we’re the parents who will lead our children into adulthood well-adjusted and ready or well-adjusted and utterly lost. I don’t know. I don’t know at all. What I know is this: well before reading this article, I have wondered, probably on a daily basis, about the...

lafix asked: Parks and Rec is an acquired taste. One of the things I most appreciate about it is how gradually they flesh-out the characters. Ron Swanson is a man of few words and takes a long time to get to know him.

I love the little quirks like how no one uses or mentions Google, they always say "I looked it up on Alta Vista." The whole town uses Alta Vista.

“If you want to get away with true, malevolent power, be boring.”

– Jon Ronson, The Psychopath Test

bananacasts asked: How's the geodesic dome?

Things I Miss About Brooklyn No. 327: Sunday...

Walking to La Bagel Delight for bagels, lox, OJ. Getting through your order as quickly as possible or enduring the glares of other customers (“Plain on plain, Sesame with sun-dried tofu, quarter-pound lox!”). Picking up the Sunday Times at the market on the way back. Watching Meet the Press and reading the paper with the windows open, or taking a blanket and the paper to Prospect Park....

I Got No Klout at Home

Following is a mostly accurate transcript of a conversation my wife and I had this morning. As I was adjusting our daughter’s high-chair to feed her some bananas and cereal, the chair thumped a couple of times. Wife: PUT YOUR FOOT ON THAT THING YOU’RE DRIVING ME CRAZY! Me: That could be a country song. ♫ Put your foot on that thing you’re drivin’ me craaazzyyy ♫ ...

Truthful Saturday

I frequently edit sentences in posts knowing full well they will never get read again by anyone but me.

I had turned 20 years old that winter.

“The Apron Strings of Savannah” Edgar...

Yep, watching Daily Show on DVR.

“Let me clear something up, John: I voted for Obama because he was black. Is he...”

– Larry Wilmore, Senior Black Correspondent, The Daily Show

“Men need to realize their penis has far more power over them than it does over...”

– Kristen Schaal, Senior Women’s Issues Correspondent, The Daily Show

Favorite Part of Today

At the risk of sounding like a complete tool, my favorite part of today was boot camp. It was a “parking garage” session in which we ran drills up and down an eight-floor thing for which the workout was named. I never fashioned myself a joiner but there’s something blissful about having someone yell you into dry-heaving exhaustion (knowing, of course, that it’s just an hour and I’m not getting...

I just realized that the joke I’ve had for about 20 years — Paradise Inn (actual place) Fillmore (county) Beaver (city) — isn’t nearly as good as Fillmore Paradise Inn Beaver. I am a fraud and my last two decades have been a lie.