May 2011
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rartastic replied to your post: Metamorphosis
When you order iced tea and the waitress asks, “sweet or unsweet?” do you scoff? Do you find yourself calling all ladies ma’am? Do you appreciate a well-placed Confederate flag?
I went to breakfast on Saturday morning and asked for tea, meaning hot tea. She said “sweet or unsweet” and I felt like a fool because of course she assumed I...
Metamorphosis
It’s three and a half years since we moved to Charleston. Strange things are happening:
I no longer hesitate when saying “y’all.”
The heat and humidity doesn’t bother me nearly as much.
I can tell you which supermarket makes the best fried chicken (Piggly Wiggly, natch).
I find myself pondering the Civil War with alarming frequency.
Quick, I’m gonna need a...
WatchShe finds herself highly amusing.
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kellydeal replied to your post: Truthful Friday
what are you feeling nostalgic about?
At this very moment, thanks to your question, this is what I’m thinking about:
But truthfully, it’s dumb. I’m thinking about old music because whenever I look for a track for Miss Ambiguous’ music that’s the same length as the date thing I always seem to center on something from...
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Facebook is like getting on an airplane. Just about everyone says they love to fly. Yet, when you actually do it, it kind of sucks. Yes, you’re miles up in the air traveling at 500 miles per hour, but it’s become so mundane that you have time to realize that you’re crammed next to somebody — and will be for several hours — for which the only common thread is that you both need to...
Five Things I Learned About the Guy Who Made My...
He’s a “big Mac guy” but he doesn’t get the hype surrounding the iPhone. He doesn’t like the whole touchscreen thing.
He used to have two mobile phones but he’s “between phones” right now.
He hasn’t worn his earlobe-stretching discs since he became a shift supervisor and his lobes look like they’re starting to close up.
He hates when...
Watch
“We believe in pants you can pitch a tent in.”
– Slogan on the back of a Columbia Sportswear business card. Love it.
Truthful Wednesday
If I’m in the room with Cheetos and not eating them, I get very anxious.
The Only Joke I Know
Duck walks into a pharmacy and says “One condom, please.”
Pharmacist says “Want me to put that on your bill?”
Duck says “What kind of a duck do you think I am?” and storms out.
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bananacasts replied to your photo: Hi. So, um, if you’re looking to come unhinged…
So all this bullshit about capitalism and progress and whatnot hasn’t changed the human condition over the last 300 years. Astonishing!
Some time last year I read an article in pre-Tina Newsweek that was essentially discrediting Paul Krugman and other economists for their activist stances. Yet the way that it...
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WatchFavorite Part of Today
Squeak giggles to her mama quoting Rainman.
Favorite Part of Today
Not sure when I’ll say it again so at the risk of sounding like I’m gloating I will say that I liked virtually everything about today, but especially the rainbow over the bridge, the tacos with friends, the swim lesson with the boy and the ice cream in bed. Tomorrow’s obviously gonna suck.
It would probably be less damaging if he walked in...
See, what’s gonna happen is the boy will wake up from a bad dream and come in to see his mother and father lying in bed watching TV and eating ice cream straight from the carton and he’ll resent us for the rest of his life.
Yay Teachers
My second grade teacher, Mrs. Owen, was what you might imagine a second grade teacher to be: old, embittered, strict and mean. I was a favorite, and in my eyes unfair, target of hers. I frequently had notes sent home for disruptive behavior. I became very familiar with the principal’s office, as did my parents. Once, Mrs. Owen even lit into me for raising my hand without having a question...
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thistumblerhasane replied to your post: I have no plans to join mlkshk. As with…
Please respect our English language and use vowels in your made up words.
Right then, mate. Pip pip, cheerio!
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inthefade replied to your post: I have no plans to join mlkshk. As with…
Thanks for informing us of your plan to not join. We shall alert the president.
You haven’t changed my life in any way, Moprah.
I have no plans to join mlkshk. As with foursquare, it seems like a nice service with a focused plan but not like something I need. Nothing against it if any of you are involved but, if anything, I need to unload some social networks, not pick up another one.
First kiss, five words.
Mother. I was just born.
The rest of us have been placing the comma outside...
indefensible:
And your attempts to tell us it’s wrong is just another tiny sliver of hubris from a nation that simply assumes whatever it does is the best.
How are US imperial measurements working out for you, by the way?
Fine, thanks. How’s your Queen?
Truthful Thursday
In my 15 years of befriending (and making enemies of) people online, I’ve never received a picture of somebody naked. That’s got to be some kind of mathematical anomaly.
WatchOther favorite part of today.
Favorite Part of Today
We’re finishing up his bath and he is, as usual, sandbagging every way he knows how.
Me: OK, it’s time to scrub right now. Him: But Dad, I really have to go potty. Me: Bud, I’m sorry, you’re just gonna have to hold it.
So he did. With both hands.
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“9. Riding the (Google) wave
It’s still early days as Google Wave is still...”
– Freddie Laker, Social Media 2012: 11 Trends You Should Watch” (April 7, 2010)
My Definition of Hell
You’re eating something brittle — say, a fresh carrot or dry scone — and, as you’re swallowing or biting off more, a piece goes down the wrong tube. You instinctively cough and it goes straight up your pharynx into your nasal cavity. Then you instinctively inhale strongly through your nose, which sends the piece back down the wrong tube.
REPEAT FOREVER.
Favorite Part of Today
Me: Bud, you’re too big for me to help you scrub. Why aren’t you doing it yourself?
Him: Dad, I’m just not that instrested in scrubbing.
