December 2011
Conversation with Wife about Superman Idea
“They gave you an award for that?”
“Yep. Creativity.”
“That’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. It’s impossible.”
“It’s thinking outside the box.”
“It’s stupid.”
“You’re stupid. Jerk.”
Up in the Air
It was just pointed out to me that it is Wednesday, not Monday. I’ve become George Clooney without the nice suits. And Vera Farmiga sharing my hotel bed. And Young MC pumping up my jams. And Sam Elliott shaking my hand.
Truthful Monday
In fifth grade, I got a trophy for “Most Creative” in a Future Problem Solvers of America competition. The problem was pollution. My Plan C solution was to get Superman to gather up all the pollution and take it out into space. If any of you say that’s a terrible idea because we shouldn’t pollute outer space, I’ll cut you.
November 2011
Not that there's anything wrong with Stamped
This post is not about Stamped but rather something totally unrelated that Stamped makes me think about.
I had some friends visiting one weekend when I lived in San Francisco. While on our way out for the evening, a random and wasted guy on the street stopped me and said “Do you have a stamp?” I said no and kept walking and one on my friends said “Did he ask you if you have...
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(Sorry, my repost seems to have stripped the clip from The View. Here it is: http://youtu.be/5f8k54IY4kg)
On the whole “man bites dog” theme, I didn’t pay much attention to the story of Sasha Grey reading to children when it was the punchline on Twitter but I read the post below and watched the video and want to say some things:
The post makes some great points about the media...
Remember when cable TV was looked at as a sort of wasteland for cheap programming that couldn’t cut it on network television and CNN stood out as something that not only created a new genre but also brought dignity to the medium? I just watched almost 30 minutes of primetime CNN in which about two minutes was devoted to news headlines and the remainder was split between the GOP stance on...
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Oyster Stuffing
Truthful Tuesday
That last post was a little boastful but I don’t care because it’s incredibly rare that I leave him speechless.
Dad of the Year
Me: I know the woman who found her called her Tammy, but don’t you think she looks more like an Annie?
Him: No, her name is Tammy!
Me: Did you know that your name used to be Bob? But then we said, “Y’know, he looks a little more like a Spence than a Bob.” So that’s why we call you Spence, Bob.
Him: …
I think they’ll get along.
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Truthful Monday
“Time to stop talking and go to sleep.”
“Dad? I think I’m allergic to sleep.”
“Bud, I promise you that there isn’t a boy anywhere in the whole wide world who is allergic to sleep.”
“OK, you may be right. But I just, I just wanna…”
And 10 seconds later, he was asleep.
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My favorite part of working from home is when the lights go out and a split-second later you hear an explosion like fireworks and know that it’s a transformer and you think “Well, that can’t be good” and you run to take a shower in the dark before the hot water turns cold.
Here’s the thing about living in a smallish city: I’m on the late flight to Charleston and there are at least six people on this plane that I know. That’s the way it goes around town as well. Knowing you’re never far from friends has its benefits. But so does anonymity.
There Is No Such Thing as Good Political Talk...
My taxi driver is listening to The Thom Hartman Program, a “progressive” talk radio show. He’s talking about U.S. troops in Australia, TSA scanners and the lack of SEC prosecution of Wall Street fraud. He sounds like an asshole.
UPDATE: Thom Hartman is out. This asshole is David Sirota.
Worse before better. Or maybe "worse" is "better."
Nixon and Watergate came *after* the anti-war protests of the ’60s. But then he was the guy who finally extracted us from Vietnam, began the normalizing of relations with China, and signed landmark environmental protection legislation.
Roosevelt came *after* the stock market crash and the Bonus Army, but before the Dust Bowl migration and the second world war, which was the single-biggest...
I don’t want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a...
– Lloyd Dobler, patron saint of OWS
Truthful Monday
I am both a snob and a hypocrite. I just posted an animated gif but I generally can’t stand animated gifs. Here’s the difference: what I posted makes sense as an animated gif, whereas most that you see these days, like on failblog, are videos turned into animated gifs. It bugs the shit out of me and it should bug the shit out of you, too, if you have any aspirations to be both a snob...
Holy crap, my car is really dirty.
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rartastic replied to your photo: That’s a great pair of knockers. (Taken with…
you moved one over to the other hanger so you could take that picture, didn’t you?
You can’t prove anything.
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We need to stop the daintiness and describe the alleged offenses for what they...
– That’s Buzz Bissinger on the Penn State sex scandal. (via newsweek)
Every office has an Amish Beard Guy, right?
It's best he hear it from me rather than out on...
“Dad, why can’t I watch Winnie the Pooh on the NeckFlix?”
“Well, bud, there are these things called licensing agreements.”
“…”
“You know how you have your toys and sometimes you don’t want your cousin to play with them?”
“Yeah?”
“Well, the person who owns Winnie the Pooh doesn’t want to give it to...
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Anonymous asked: What is an awesome boyfriend gift for the guy who has the necessities, and doesn't but could buy whatever he fancies? What would be thoughtful, surprising, says I love yewwww, and be cool enough that he has to brag a lil'bit to his friends? (He is 46, extremely outdoorsy-manly-builds things-cuts things with chainsaws, but it doesn't need to be tool-y.).
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kellydeal replied to your post: There is a woman in this restaurant whose ringtone…
Or they could just actually like that song.
Impossible.