January 2011
Jan 1st
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December 2010
Dec 31st
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Tux Life: This decade... →
(I’m stealing yowhatsthehaps’ style because I loved what she wrote) This decade, I rang in the new millennium on the Las Vegas Strip then waited in line for three hours for a taxi, quit smoking, moved to LA in 1999 and made some of the best friends I’ll ever have, got “fired” from reviewing CDs… Here’s what I posted last New Year’s Eve, for gorillasushi.
Dec 31st
35 notes
Floyd Abrams Whizzes on Wikileaks →
Journalists, like the rest of humanity, have a problem admitting when they’re wrong. In this case, virtually all of them have been wrong about how many of the diplomatic cables have been released by Wikileaks, as well as the manner in which they’ve been released. Jack Shafer of Slate takes Floyd Abrams to task over his Wall Street Journal op-ed. Abrams, who represented the New York...
Dec 30th
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Dec 30th
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Dec 30th
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Dec 30th
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Dec 30th
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Dec 30th
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Truthful Thursday
I’m not sure if Natalie Portman really masturbates in Black Swan but, y’know, anything for ratings.
Dec 30th
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While you're all fawning over Black Swan...
Don’t forget about The Fighter. Boxing stories naturally make for great parables. When they’re well-acted and well-directed, you can’t do much better — even if there’s no Natalie Portman masturbating.
Dec 30th
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ephemeralpilgrim asked: Is there a difference between nerds and geeks? What is the difference? Where do you put yourself on the nerd-geek spectrum?
Dec 30th
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ephemeralpilgrim asked: Is there a difference between nerds and geeks? What is the difference? Where do you put yourself on the nerd-geek spectrum?
Dec 30th
katefeetie asked: Kanye West or Kanye East?

You can only choose one.
Dec 30th
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katefeetie asked: Kanye West or Kanye East?

You can only choose one.
Dec 30th
everythinginthesky asked: Cats or dogs?
Chicken or fish?
Hole or Nirvana?
Greenday or Offspring?
Australia or New Zealand?
Cohen Brothers or the Coppolas?
Nature or nurture?
Determinism or free will?
Dec 30th
16 notes
everythinginthesky asked: Cats or dogs?
Chicken or fish?
Hole or Nirvana?
Greenday or Offspring?
Australia or New Zealand?
Cohen Brothers or the Coppolas?
Nature or nurture?
Determinism or free will?
Dec 30th
xntrek asked: So, with the overpopulation numbers about to burst, have you made little blue tuxedos for the new arrival?
Dec 30th
5 notes
rartastic asked: I'm on a plane. Should I order alcohol?
Quick! The beverage cart is almost here!
Dec 30th
rartastic asked: I'm on a plane. Should I order alcohol?
Quick! The beverage cart is almost here!
Dec 30th
xntrek asked: So, with the overpopulation numbers about to burst, have you made little blue tuxedos for the new arrival?
Dec 29th
This day isn't getting any shorter.
Please feel free to ask me a question. Please.
Dec 29th
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Dec 29th
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1 tag
Dec 29th
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1 tag
Dec 29th
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Dec 29th
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1 tag
Dec 29th
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1 tag
Dec 29th
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Dec 29th
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1 tag
Dec 29th
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2 tags
Dec 29th
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Dec 29th
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Dec 29th
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I don’t have pictures of myself as a child on this computer. Instead, I’m going to post pictures of places I’ve lived, courtesy of Google street view, roughly every five years of my life and tag them with “every5” in case anyone wants to play along. I’ve lived a lot more places than these and one day I will collect them all mwhahahahaha!
Dec 29th
19 notes
Overpopulation Update
Wife was having trouble breathing last night. Then came cramps. Up went my blood pressure. Packed my bag (wife’s has been packed for two weeks) and got my stopwatch ready for timing contractions. False alarm. Probably just indigestion. Slept like crap, expecting wife to tap my arm at any moment. Nothing. Woe is me.
Dec 29th
37 notes
cpincx: New Year's Countdown  →
cpincx: My wife and I hoodwink our kids every New Year’s Eve. We set our clocks ahead gradually throughout the day, and by 9:00 they think it’s midnight. We all yell “Happy New Year!” and then put the little buggers to bed at a reasonable hour. This lets us ring in the New Year as a family—without the…
Dec 29th
9 notes
In the South...
I was a little mean about the South last week. While it’s deserved sometimes and cracker politics in particular is an awful, divisive thing, I also believe that, perhaps because of the great turmoil that has always defined southern American life, the South accounts for more than its share of our richest cultural traditions. Besides, we chose to live here for more than just the great...
Dec 28th
Truthful Tuesday
I would probably be more religious if it weren’t for mushrooms. Because what kind of demented freak higher power would get people to spend a lot of money to eat something that grows in pig shit?
Dec 28th
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The Boy's Choices for Baby Names
If it’s a boy: Violet. If it’s a girl: Fruit Snack. 
Dec 28th
Dec 27th
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Dec 27th
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Dec 27th
48 notes
Lovechild update
Nothing to report. My wife said she feels strange, but that could just be from the chili we ate for dinner.
Dec 27th
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Tax Deduction Update
No contractions yet = no Christmas baby. Thank Christ.
Dec 26th
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Instant Impressions of 'The Big Chill' 27 Years...
Me: Baby Boomers are assholes. Wife: I’m the Mary Kay Place character — y’know, the woman who’s friends with all the guys but I’m having a child on my own. Me: Hello, you’re married with kids. Wife: I’m just saying, in my group of college friends, I’m the Mary Kay Place. Me: You. Are. Married. You. Have. Children. Wife: I’m just saying… ...
Dec 26th
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Dec 26th
49 notes
Kids are so stupid.
I downloaded the Santa Tracker to show my 5-year-old niece where Santa is giving presents before he gets to us. I also showed her Santa’s Naughty List with her name on it because she made her brother cry earlier in the day. She turned white and looked more concerned than when my mom got the notice that I was failing 11th-grade English after I failed to intercept the letter from the mail. I...
Dec 24th
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Progeny Update
80-percent effaced, 3 cm. dilated. Looks like Essdogg, Jr., Jr. might be coming earlier than January 11th. Holy smokes.
Dec 23rd
70 notes
Go Utes.
Dec 23rd
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iPad App Recommendations?
So my mother-in-law got iPads for the grandchildren for Christmas. That’s right, folks — my 3-year-old son is getting an iPad before I am. I am privy to this information because I’m the family tech support guy. As part of my duties, I have a discretionary budget for loading them up with apps. So, here’s my question to the hive mind: what apps should I get? What educational apps...
Dec 22nd
23 notes