January 2010
Uncle
I thought that the Words with Friends craze would pass. No luck. So deal me in, a-holes.
I’m essdogg, naturally.
Secret Crush Post
rsmallbone:
essdogg:
Don’t worry. I’m honorable and totally happy with my lovely family and not fishing for anything inappropriate. I just want to say in this passive way that you’re very beautiful, smart and talented, and you have great taste. I’m a little bit in love with you.
I like you too, but kissing a man with a beard tickles me and makes me giggle.
You like me? You like me?...
Secret Crush Post
Don’t worry. I’m honorable and totally happy with my lovely family and not fishing for anything inappropriate. I just want to say in this passive way that you’re very beautiful, smart and talented, and you have great taste. I’m a little bit in love with you.
Things wot I taught the boy to say today:...
Watchbananacasts:
“Here comes Thomas!”
Sweet Jehovah if The Boy ever sees this my life is ruined. Ruined, I tell you!
NOW YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO MAKE ME CRY...AND IT'S...
YOU'RE LUCKY I NEED TO GET MY BEAUTY REST,...
SHUT UP, ASSFACE.
lindstifa:
My boyfriend has Celine Dion on his iPod. What should I do?
To the curb post-haste. That’s a straight-up Deal Breaker. Have you learned nothing from Liz Lemon?
Pedi-semi-fail:
monkeyfrog:
inmi:
The part where you walk outside in flipflops in the snow in 14 degree weather. That part sucked.
You need to invent ToePees. Little teepees that go over the end of flip flops to keep your feet warm but not touch the polish.
I’M A GENIUS, I TELL YOU! A GENIUS!
When I got my last pedicure I was wearing hiking boots, so they put sandwich bags over my toes to keep the polish...
…and then we got married
tj:
Stevie reminded me that on Sunday when everyone was leaving Hotel Vertigo, someone walked passed me and I heard him say to his lady-friend:
“Must be a wedding.”
It was just like a wedding. Except no ugly dresses. Or tuxedos. And no boring speeches. And no terrible DJ. And no cake.
Ok there was a little cake.
There was *almost* a tuxedo. Almost. Thank god I decided against that bit of...
TurboTax, stop emailing me. I already filed. USING...
shoesonwrong:
Also, I know you have no control over this, tax preparation software, but listen: I’m not against paying taxes. I understand it needs to be done. What I don’t quite understand is constantly increasing the amount of money (in substantial amounts) going to the State of Michigan and the City of Detroit when things aren’t improving. Detroit falls further and further into disrepair...
You don't want an iPad, what you want is a device...
yayaa:
Like the other tablets that will start selling in 2010 that are not under Apple and actually will have these ‘potentials’ included (out the box). Or at least wait until Steve decides that he got enough of other people’s money to then hang the 2nd version of the iPad by a string in a few months. You know he’s got the next one sitting in his office right? Their business plan,...
Here's what I want an iPad to do:
I want to hook it up to my TV so I can watch anything I want through a larger screen and/or give work presentations that way — and preferably wirelessly. This would be the same idea as AirTunes, except for video.
Right now you have this dilemma of having an AppleTV that runs your own library seamlessly and syncs wirelessly with your iTunes library. But there’s no official integration of...
I Slept 11 Hours Last Night!
I can’t remember the last time I did that. Holy crap! It also means that I slept right through the State of the Union, which I probably won’t have a chance to watch until tonight. So I’m gonna go ahead and keep talking about the iPad.
I pour my heart out to you people and this is how...
I misspelled “overwrought” on that overwrought post earlier today. Like, SEVEN HOURS EARLIER TODAY. And all of you just let it sit there. I take it all back — you’re terrible people.
Hey Dudes, The CargoPantsConfessional is still...
I was thinking we could share our dirty little secrets from SFTU. Like, for example, was it one of you making all of those sex noises in the room next to Danielle? Or, y’know, whatever.
http://cargopantsconfessional.tumblr.com/ask
All you geeks are pulling a total 'Wayne's World'...
paulewogblog:
You’re all “It will be mine. Oh yes. It WILL be mine.”
And I’m Garth in the background shouting, “Stop torturing yourself man! You’ll never afford it! Live in the now!”
Paul, you’re an ignorant slut.
An SFTU Overanalysis of Overwrought Proportions
I was talking to somebody while in San Francisco about how much better meeting everyone was than we could have possibly imagined, even for those of us who imagined it would be amazing. You are some funny, talented, big-hearted people. It was an honor to meet those I felt I “knew” and see how incredible you are in real life. It was an absolute treat to get to know the people I...
Birthday post #2
yhf:
I used up a lot of my daily allowance of eloquence in the prior post, and I wish I’d saved a little. I don’t know @essdogg very well personally besides that he’s a proud and devoted father, an author, and a hell of a nice guy who read of my plight with regard to reading material and offered to send me books from his own shelves. This is an offer that I’m so terribly disorganized that I...
Shandon
alinasmith:
You and I, we have something in common. Not family status; you’re married with kids and I have this cat problem. Not religion, not location. No, what we have in common is that we both escaped. And I’m damn proud of us.
Happy Birthday, Utah Boy.
Amen, sister. Thank you.
Happy Birthday Essdogg.
monkeyfrog:
Shandon Fowler in a blue tux
just doesn’t care if my grammar sucks
he reads what I mean and encourages me
this guy is one of the best fish in the sea.
He knows how to write and he reasons quite well
you can whisper your secrets and he’ll never tell
I hope that his birthday is happy as hell.
Now come to a Chicagoish so we can sit in the coffee shop and swap stories all day...
Happy Birthday, essdogg!
shoesonwrong:
You’re the coolest blogger/fake man/author lady I know.
Well, definitely in the top three.
Thank you! I’m thinking of telling my mother and wife that I’m not really a man and I would like for you to be there with me. What do you say? I’ll buy you lunch…
